Finding Something More...
I came to Sri Lanka this summer in search of something more, some sort of fulfillment. When I'm teaching and working with my classes and the other teachers I feel as though I'm making some kind of impact.
In my high school leadership class, Mrs. Cimino had us write our mission statement in life. Most were career oriented, but then again so is the society we live in. Mine was just what I wanted out of life: "My mission is to approach my surroundings with an open mind, diversify my relationships through inclusivity, and transform myself through my experiences to make a difference in the world by touching the hearts and minds of the people in it." I don't know why but every time I'm doubtful or question where I am in my life I return to my leadership class and a time when I was so full of promise. Not that the promise is gone, but that was a time when I believed in my abilities wholeheartedly. I keep thinking about this speech from my intermediate class by Lincoln (which I already quoted in a prior post), in the last line of the letter to his son's teacher he says "Teach my son to have sublime faith in himself, and then he will have sublime faith in human kind." It's true, how could you believe in the goodness of others, if you cannot show it yourself? To detract from going on a tangent, when I recall the mission statement that I wrote when I was 17- it gives me some nostalgic hope that brings me back to the basics.
So, I did the first thing, I approached my surroundings with an open mind. No inhibitions, no expectations, just living and accepting whatever the circumstances may be, which in my case are fortunate. Next, diversify my relationships through inclusivity (yes, I am aware inclusivity is not a word), I consider myself pretty inclusive but I haven't made friends with anyone on my own aside from my students, relatives or family acquaintances. I think this whole trip and the rest of my mission is what I keep searching for....experiencing different things, touching the hearts and minds of people and in the process somehow transform myself. Is that selfish or mutually beneficial?
I think the problem is I feel like I should be doing more, experiencing more, seeing more and this feeling of emptiness this lack of exuberance and adventure is holding me back. Maybe that's the problem, I'm expecting too much. Today, I was looking into Mother's Teresa's Nuns, I visited a home for the elderly where the sisters of charity both live and work. I was considering volunteering there, but then my lax days turned into 12 hour work days. As I was reading I came across an article written by a United Nations volunteer, and even though I saw U.N.Me I couldn't help but recall Perkins' The Secret History of the American Empire where he talks about all the corruption there is in our world institutions and all the deals that are made out of the public eye; there was a similar message and that message is awareness but if we aren't aware of the faults of the machine then how do we fix it? When you know the setbacks and the shortcomings, then you can also be aware of the good that is able to come out of certain parts. Most of these U.N. volunteers are just people trying to make some difference in the world, and maybe they believe in the goodness of humanity and that's why they want to show some of it. I was reading different testimonies, and I know these are few among hundreds, but the aim isn't to just exist- the aim is to be one of the few.
So here I am searching for something more...
In my high school leadership class, Mrs. Cimino had us write our mission statement in life. Most were career oriented, but then again so is the society we live in. Mine was just what I wanted out of life: "My mission is to approach my surroundings with an open mind, diversify my relationships through inclusivity, and transform myself through my experiences to make a difference in the world by touching the hearts and minds of the people in it." I don't know why but every time I'm doubtful or question where I am in my life I return to my leadership class and a time when I was so full of promise. Not that the promise is gone, but that was a time when I believed in my abilities wholeheartedly. I keep thinking about this speech from my intermediate class by Lincoln (which I already quoted in a prior post), in the last line of the letter to his son's teacher he says "Teach my son to have sublime faith in himself, and then he will have sublime faith in human kind." It's true, how could you believe in the goodness of others, if you cannot show it yourself? To detract from going on a tangent, when I recall the mission statement that I wrote when I was 17- it gives me some nostalgic hope that brings me back to the basics.
So, I did the first thing, I approached my surroundings with an open mind. No inhibitions, no expectations, just living and accepting whatever the circumstances may be, which in my case are fortunate. Next, diversify my relationships through inclusivity (yes, I am aware inclusivity is not a word), I consider myself pretty inclusive but I haven't made friends with anyone on my own aside from my students, relatives or family acquaintances. I think this whole trip and the rest of my mission is what I keep searching for....experiencing different things, touching the hearts and minds of people and in the process somehow transform myself. Is that selfish or mutually beneficial?
I think the problem is I feel like I should be doing more, experiencing more, seeing more and this feeling of emptiness this lack of exuberance and adventure is holding me back. Maybe that's the problem, I'm expecting too much. Today, I was looking into Mother's Teresa's Nuns, I visited a home for the elderly where the sisters of charity both live and work. I was considering volunteering there, but then my lax days turned into 12 hour work days. As I was reading I came across an article written by a United Nations volunteer, and even though I saw U.N.Me I couldn't help but recall Perkins' The Secret History of the American Empire where he talks about all the corruption there is in our world institutions and all the deals that are made out of the public eye; there was a similar message and that message is awareness but if we aren't aware of the faults of the machine then how do we fix it? When you know the setbacks and the shortcomings, then you can also be aware of the good that is able to come out of certain parts. Most of these U.N. volunteers are just people trying to make some difference in the world, and maybe they believe in the goodness of humanity and that's why they want to show some of it. I was reading different testimonies, and I know these are few among hundreds, but the aim isn't to just exist- the aim is to be one of the few.
So here I am searching for something more...
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