The 4 Pillars of My Service

The 4 pillars of my service are not intangible core values that guided me, but they are 4 very tangible families. Four families that each served as a cornerstone in my service. They each loved and accepted me, claimed me as their own, and always welcomed me with open arms. I could not imagine my 2 years here without them and I am not sure they will ever understand the extent to which I adore them and am indebted to them for their kindness and support.

I always say my service really began once I moved homestays. My host family is my first cornerstone. When I first moved in, it was supposed to be temporary, just for a month until I found a permanent place. After a month, my host family asked if I would stay with them. They introduced me to Mahatma and were not only participants but truly lived by its principles of love, respect and sincerity. They opened their home in Indramayu to me. They created a safe and open environment where I truly felt that this too was my home. When I had problems at school, they guided me through them. They advised me, stood up for me and watched out for my best interest. My bapak introduced me to his colleagues, university communities, the Indramayu community and other prominent English teachers in the area. He was the first person to help me arrange a meeting space for IGLOW-IBRO Indramayu’s information session. Their open mindedness, tolerance and understanding showed me truth behind their religious values. My working until 6 or 7pm at school wasn’t strange because my host family carried a similar work ethic. All academics and if they weren’t working towards improving their classrooms, it was their homes, their family. This family never judged me for working hard, they never derailed me, and they never forced me to fit gender stereotypes. They simply allowed me to be myself.

My second cornerstone I met through my host family. My bapak introduced me to one of his friends who is an English teacher and well-known throughout the area for her award-winning students. Bu Ning and her family have become another safe haven for me. Bu Ning treats me as if I was her own child and I have grown very close with one of her daughters, Bu Niken. Niken is also an English teacher and has her own remarkable story. They live in Jati Barang, which is where the train station to anywhere else is. Jati Barang is the downtown-business area of our district. So, when I’m leaving or coming back the pedicab drivers all know to take me directly to Bu Ning or Niken’s house. I help Bu Ning and Niken with their private lessons for kids. Niken really liked our idea for IGLOW-IBRO Indramayu so she was instrumental in fundraising throughout the businesses in the area and guiding members of my committee especially while I was in the states for a month. They are Christian and carry their own perspective of life in Java which I appreciated. Like my host family, Bu Ning and Niken also live by the values they are taught. They work 7 days a week teaching students, even after Bu Ning finishes a full day of teaching she comes home and teaches a les for free to the children in her neighborhood. Their generosity, sense of responsibility and most of all humility is something most people aspire to. These courageous women are role models for me and to all those around them and I have nothing but the utmost gratitude for them for accepting me into their family.

My third cornerstone is a Catholic Chinese Kalimantan family. Right when I was getting ready to move houses, the guys who worked at the hardware store would say “hi Bu” to me every morning and “bye Bu” every evening when I would go home. After one month, my friend Gito runs across the street and stops my bicycle asking for my number, I gave it to him but couldn’t answer any text messages because I didn’t know any Indramayu Javanese at the time. My bicycle was broken so I was walking to school, they asked me to stop by and talk, they asked my religion and when I said Catholic they said that the family who owns the hardware store is also Catholic. That is how this story started. Since then, my friends at Sinar Permata in Cikedung have become my best allies and the Catholic family has become my biggest supporter. They gave me something I didn’t expect to have in Indonesia, the ability to practice my religion. They gave me an outlet to talk openly and discuss Catholicism without judgment. They accepted me as another member of their extended family, received me with generosity, and we found solitude in each other’s company because in some strange way we were both outsiders to this area. Their story of struggle is inspiring and their success is only a testament to their work ethic and genuine kind heartedness.  

My fourth cornerstone is Mang Idi and Yu Ati. They are all in all the heart of my service. I love them as if they were my own parents. During my most vulnerable times of service they were there to help pick up the pieces, to wipe away my tears, to scold my bullies, to put a smile on my face and fill my empty stomach. If there are any two people who truly understand me, love me and have been strong pillars for me, it is these two individuals. If the other three cornerstones didn’t exist, then they would still be there holding everything up. They are to me all that is beautiful about Indonesia and Islam. My cause would become their cause and their cause would become mine, because that’s what it means to be family. When you’re part of a family, you accept someone with all their flaws and differences, you support them and you prepare to catch them in case they fall and through it all you love them unconditionally. I really will never forget them. I would have never made it two years in Cikedung without them. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to repay even a fraction of their kindness.